there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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