Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
