just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
