I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
