I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
