Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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