so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
