he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
time to smoke my breakfast
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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