it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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