Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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