So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
smell my finger.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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