Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
