yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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