dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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