Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
