first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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