my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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