Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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