Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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