Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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