Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
