my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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