The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
