I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
