pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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