I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
