The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
