Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
