hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
