This is not my ceiling
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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