my vag is so smooth its legendary
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
