I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think i got beer on your cat.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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