I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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