I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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