I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
