I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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