I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
