ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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