Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My penis needs a shock collar
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
