Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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