yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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