She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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