I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
