hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize