Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
