I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wear drunk well.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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