we have pet lesbian snakes
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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