he was CRYING into my vagina
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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