this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
