i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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