why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
