I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize