I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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