You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
