I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
