accomplished twins. life is a go
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
