i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
