Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize