I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
