Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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