Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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