there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have tasted many bathrooms
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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