yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
