Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so let's talk penis.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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