Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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